By Graham Macafee
Canberra, Australia
9 April 2004

What gets up the noses of the Western powers is some scruffy little anti-Western movements have invented 'Discount Bombs' - which enables them to wage 'Discount War' - as if they were the social equals of the almighty Western powers!

Damn their rotten stinking hides - who do they think they are - gatecrashing our highly exclusive Gentlemen's Bomb Club!

Don't the bounders realise waging war by pitting squillion-dollar fleets against each other, or squillion-dollar armies against each other, has some honour and glory attached to it?

Surely they understand the splendid simplicity of Western War Philosophy:

"The more you spend on bombs - the bigger man you are!"

But for small-spending, scruffy nobodies (armed only with box-cutters and farm fertiliser) to force their way into the most expensive club on Earth (the Western Bomb Club) and score some bullseye kills is humiliating beyond all endurance!

Where's their sense of decency, fair play and the fitness of things?

Don't they realise war is supposed to cost squillions?

For people not wearing proper uniforms to wage a discount war (while not carrying a national flag so we can suss out which cities to bomb in return) is quite out of the question!  Quite unethical!

Who are we supposed to bomb in return - innocent women and children?

Those rotten terrorists leave us with no alternative (but to bomb innocent women and children) if they don't have the common decency to carry national flags with them at ALL times so we know which towns, cities, countries and civilisations to bomb back to the Stone Age - otherwise bomb-happy  simpletons like George Bush get terribly frustrated and confused!

But if a war without flags or honour is weird - a 'War on Terror' is even weirder:

It took until the other day (18 months after the September 11 bombing) for the subject of banning the manufacture or importing of Ammonium Nitrate (a farm fertiliser that doubles as a cheap and deadly terrorist explosive) to be raised in Australia!

I don't know what's happening in the US (about the åWar on Terrorπ) but I doubt anybody would dare to raise the subject (of a Nitram ban) with the White House - for fear of being branded a rotten communist for wanting to curtail the God-Given sacred rights of business!

People's rights and freedoms can be savagely curtailed - but NOT business!

In the meantime, weπre up to our ears in a 'War on Terror' and anyone can buy a truckload of deadly Nitram - no questions asked - cos hundreds of Aussie farmers do exactly that - every day of the week mostly without knowing it has a Terror Application when a few simple steps are taken!

America's God-fearing Oklahoma Bomber (Timothy McVeigh) did exactly that. He bought a truck-load of Ammonium Nitrate - no questions asked - with deadly effect!

So what's the Australian Government doing about Ammonium Nitrate?

Would you believe they are going to ask purchasers to fill out a form to be vetted by Australia's spy agency ASIO.  Purchasers will be required to build secure barns or to secure their existing barns (at great expense) to store the stuff!

This is Alice-in-Wonderland policy-making!

Farmers don't have the time, cash or patience for bureaucratic craptrap like this - but a dedicated terrorist would - so BAN the frigging stuff!  Or is that too simple?

There are alternative nitrogen fertilisers (eg Sulphate of Ammonia and Urea) that DON'T explode that are available for farm use. And legumes used in crop rotations supply nitrogen for free!

So why not BAN the making, importing, transport and possession of Ammonium Nitrate?

In Afghanistan?

Outside window-dressed Kabul, it's business as usual. Warlords rule the roost (as they have for centuries), everybody carries a rifle, feudalism prevails, mullahs compete for followers (and grow fat on free lunches) while impoverished farmers grow opium - to enslave the children of the West and fatten its criminal classes!

In Iraq?

For the 400 years (not the 4 months until June that George Bush imagines) it took Europe to move from religious and political autocracy to ådemocracyπ, Iraq will only be governable by a dictator smart enough to play all the diverse religious and ethnic factions off against each other - like Saddam did and the equally brutal kings and queens of Europe also once did.

To quash dissent, a US-installed Saddam will need to come down like a tonne of bricks (like the old Saddam did) on freedom, liberty, free speech, democracy and all the other stuff that only acts as a lightening rod for dissent against totalitarian rule - until factional interests develop a taste for democracy and digitised Coca Cola - 400 years hence.

That leaves only one question  - who will be Iraq's next brutal dictator?

If the occupying forces don't come down like a tonne of bricks on the mullahs (like Saddam did) it's probable the mullahs will get what they want - a torture-happy, brutal theocracy exactly like Iranπs - which was Saddam's greatest fear - hence his brutality.

If the occupying forces DO come down like a tonne of bricks on the mullahs, civil war may erupt and US and Aussie troops will not get home by Christmas - ANY Christmas!

But with an election looming in America, that would be unthinkable!

My guess is, on 30 June 2004, George Bush will retreat from his 'leadership' role in Iraq (like the British backed out of Palastine 50+ years ago leaving Jew and Arab to duke it out) leaving the Iraqis to duke it out while a Saddam the US approves of takes command on George's deadline to be later toppled by the mullahs or another Saddam.

With the invasion of Iraq over (right on schedule) US news cameras can focus on George Bush kissing election babies - his Iraq Campaign Winner's Medal brightly shining!  With US troops out of Iraq, how many Americans will give a rat's backside what happens there or why.

Starting with 'Saving Private Jessica', in film after wide-screen 'Apocalypse Now' films, Hollywood will tell Americans what a thrilling and brave job they did in Iraq - shooting no-account wogs with superb accuracy (like Tom Mix did 'Red Injuns') and all will be well - or appear so!

Reality Check

Iraq:  Has all that effort been only to change the name-plate on Saddam's palace to somebody who is more kindly disposed towards the US while brutally suppressing dissent among the Great Unwashed exactly like Saddam did?

Afghanistan:  Has all that effort been only to replace Taliban-style 'governance' inside Kabul while Taliban-style 'governance' suppresses the Great Unwashed everywhere outside Kabul?

George Bush should take a leaf out of Alexander the Greatπs 'Handbook on Imperial Conquestsπ.

On his åcivilisingπ crusades in the region, Alexander would give a targeted city a choice: "If you don't surrender, every man, woman and child will be killed, your city looted and turned into dust.

"If you do surrender, I will leave your city, its inhabitants (apart from a few virgins for my commanders) its ruling elite and their religious practices intact. You'll all come under my gracious imperial command enforced by leaving behind a small garrison of loyal troops."

But this was Alexanderπs TRUMP CARD (which George Bush is yet to learn):

"Resist and you'll all be crushed - but surrender and I'll take your entire army (officers and men with flags flying) with me on my NEXT GREAT ADVENTURE - starting with our combined forces conquering the jeweled city over the mountains - the one you despise with the funny religion!"

A few cities did resist and were butchered - exactly as Alexander promised.

But many cities did take up Alexander's 'gracious offer' - thus swelling his army with fresh batches of crack troops time after time (who soon became Alexander 'loyalists') which enabled him to put the same 'offer' (even more forcefully) to the next city on his path to glory - and the next and the next!

Fascinating stuff is international politics:

Same merry-go-round, same horses, different riders - some highly skilled, some less so!