Try these little gems... (courtesy of chris)

One day, Mr. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at his church.

"Reverend," he said, "I have a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It is very embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this sharpened pencil with you. I will be able to tell when she is sleeping, and I will signal you. When I signal you, give her a good poke in the leg with the pencil."

In church the following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. As he shouted out, "And, who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?" he nodded to Mr. Jones to stick his wife.

"Jesus!" cried Mrs. Jones as her husband jabbed her in the leg with the pencil.

"Yes, you are right, Mrs. Jones," said the minister.

Soon, Mrs. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed her dozing off.

"Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation while at the same time signalling Mr. Jones.

"God!" cried out Mrs. Jones as she was stuck again with the pencil.

"Right again, Mrs. Jones," said the minister, smiling and continuing his sermon.

Before long, Mrs. Jones dozed off again. However, this time, the minister did not notice it. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a motion that Mr. Jones mistook as the signal to jab his wife with the pencil. He was just sticking his wife with the pencil again when the minister asked,

"What did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones shrieked, "You stick that damned thing in me one more time, and I'll break it off and shove it up your arse!"

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KY have jumped on the Millennium bandwagon with the slogan for their new product:

"Y2K-Y Jelly : when you want to put four digits where only two could fit before"

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A blonde went to her mail box several times before it was even time for the mailman to make his rounds.

A neighbor noticed her repeated trips to the curb and asked if she was waiting for a special delivery.

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